Felt like years ~

“Good,” Junpei said. “That’s important. Your work should be an act of love, not a marriage of convenience.”

Been through so much between March-May, but thankfully I’m still alive. Hmm…

I took the Broker’s Exam last March 17, went to Boracay a few days after to “unwind”, found out that I passed the Exam, felt amazing, came back to Manila and felt sick afterwards. Ever since the first week of April, I’ve been sick –but well, I can honestly say I’m better now. But nothing like before I guess.

I want to go out and relax and all, but I can’t seem to keep myself together — the thought of going too far from home scares me (crazy). I freak out inside, what if I faint during the travel? What if I become ill all of a sudden? I just can’t.

I’ve been thinking too much about my health, I can’t even function at work that well. I’d rather stay at home and feel safe than go out there and try to earn money.

But paranoia (and somatization) aside, I’ve been reading a lot of Haruki stories lately. I may get dizzy and nauseated a lot of times perhaps due to my blurry eyes, but meh… 🙂

So I’ve probably wasted the entire April-May of 2013, and I might just waste the rest of the year if I don’t try to fix my current state of health and mind…

I’m a mess… as messy as the Norwegian Wood movie. xD

Parang wala na akong mga magulang.

I would often wish of death. Sana mamatay nalang ako. Para wala na akong iintindihin na mga magulang.

At para hindi na ako intindihin ng mga magulang ko. Well, dad’s living far from us already anyway. So I guess it’ll benefit mum a lot if I die.

That way she can freely live the life that she wants with that asshole guy shit. Mukhang ako pa nagiging pabigat sakanya. Ako nalang nga anak niya ganito pa siya.

I’m so tired.
And I’m so hungry now. #sob

Bangkok !!!

Never pa ako nakapunta doon pero somehow, dunno why, feeling ko 2nd home ko ang Bangkok !!! :))))

My biggest goal in life now is to save up para maka bili ng condo in Bkk. My top motivation right nowww ! And I’m so excited. LOL. Sigh ~

#DREAMS

March 17, 2013

I’m cramming so bad… and I really want… really NEED to pass the Broker’s Licensure Exam.

This is where regret comes in — got my review materials last November-December… started the seminars that early BUT never really tried to study… and then yup, February came.

There’s so much more I need to read and memorize. My brain is tired. 😦

In all faith, I will pass. 🙂

But for now, must rest.
Good night !!!

FUNNY PAST

Na-windang ako sa Live Journal ko back in Highschool. Stumbled upon it out of nowhere and it’s sad that I only wrote a few entries back then. Could have been crazier. xD

http://hugs-are-mushy.livejournal.com/

2 0 1 3

Can’t wait. This shall be my year.

A brand new year of hope, prosperity, wisdom, success, investments, travel, and love.

 

Happy New Year !

 

In My Heart

I love you, Baby Yuki. I really do.
You will always be remembered.

Love,
Ninang Yuko

Baby Yuki

My co-agent and dear friend, Ms. Analyn, gave birth to her first ever baby boy last December 4, 2012. Everyone was excited, including me — the lazy godmother of baby Nathaniel (Yuki). But things happen and we can’t control life.

Baby Yuki came out in a normal state, but after a couple of hours, doctors announced different pre-findings –sepsis, meningitis — until the final one came out right after Baby Yuki hit a coma state. Seems like some blood clot was found in his brain. Now Baby Yuki has no response since December 6, and this hurts me so much. Ms. Analyn is in deep sadness and stress, and I really hope she gets well soon after a bad bleeding yesterday.

I hate this feeling of helplessness, when no one here on earth can snap and cure the sick in an instant. All we need now is a miracle, and instead of the doctors telling Ms. Analyn to “let go” of Baby Yuki, I hope they find some spark of hope within them as well.

I can just imagine how awesome she would be as a mother. I saw how excited she was these past few months, to give birth and finally take care of Baby Yuki. This kind of joy that I guess only soon-to-be mothers would feel.

I don’t know what to do. No one does. And every time I remember Ms. Analyn and Baby Yuki, I feel a spread of pain inside of me. I hope God would give them a Merry Christmas this year — it’s never too late for miracles to happen. Let’s pray for them.

There, Here and There.

Take me out of here, I’m about to burst yet again.

I’m out of focus, not knowing where to start. 

 

Fookin Dilemma

I’m in so much dilemma right now. 😐

Suddenly I decided to get 2 units in Solano Hills today. Told mum bout it and surprisingly she agreed ! Next step — must talk to the office, how they can help me with the documents since I’m not employed and all that, yknow the usual requirements for loan (in short, I can’t reserve yet). Anyway this is just for investment.

My initial plan is — if ever things go well with the documents — just pay the usual downpayment in Solano which is only about 30k per unit. Then the balance, loan it to Pag-ibig and have it rented when it’s ready. But mum wants me to pay big downpayment and have less balance for the Pag-ibig loan.

My problem ? I also want a unit in Asia Enclaves Alabang which is more expensive. I want 2 units in Solano and 1 unit in Asia. Solano for rent investment, while Asia for myself. But meh… why do I always come up with such dreams. I’m not even earning much yet and I have no fixed salary every month. But meh… I really want those 2 Solano and 1 Asia. 😦

Furthermore, I also want 2 other units in Solano in the future. Those 2 in Phase 3…. I just don’t want to wait for it cause of the price increase for every new Building. But meh… so all in all, I want 4 Solano and 1 Asia. Wtf is wrong with me. I need a slap lol.

I’m so bothered right now. Lol.